Is what I really want right now.
*sigh*
I'm really sorry for ignoring this blog. I know it really has been a while since the last time I posted something that really IS me. I mean, I may have updated a post but I felt those posts were just posted to make up with my temporary absence. Mianhe and Gomen. ^^
Lately, my urge and enthusiasm in making blog posts has subsided. I got really scared because I have not felt this way ever since and it really felt awkward. So.. surreal. This random feeling I have right now maybe due to PMS but gah~ I really feel so down these days. This isn't depression, I believe but just a random feeling of loneliness.
I have always been loud, alive and jolly but these days, I just feel nothing. I am not sad, angry at something nor at someone. I really wanted to post something more happy and decent than this but it turned to be the opposite.
I don't know but I am slowly losing hope in almost everything.
And all I wanna do now is just eat a gallon of ice cream.
Kkkk~ earlier today, I went to allkpop.com and found out that MBC's Star Secret Documentary about DBSK has aired and it is now available in YouTube for viewing. I embedded the video clips but it doesn't have any English subs yet, I might edit this later when someone makes translations.
However, contrary to almost all TVXQ/DBSK/THSK fans out there, I was not looking forward to this documentary. Why? Simply because I just don't like it. Even though the organizers of this documentary stated very clearly in an article that
a documentary that is filled with the love of the fans will be a great strength to the members to help them endure this situation.
I still think this is unnecessary. Because this documentary screams something like DBSK is slowly becoming a has been / a past and that Yoochun's silly cyworld post [because I really find it so scary and silly~] 5 stars faded or not will come true.
Though whatever happens, I will still support them. And well, haven't really watched that documentary because I dislike it, I will find the right time to finally watch say after someone put English subs on it, and maybe~ just maybe make my losing hope soar up high...
Anyways, two hours ago, me and my family were watching UP.
I bet most of you have actually seen this adorable movie. ^^ and just to warn those who haven't I so fail in making synopsis even in narrating a story, so just bear with me alright?
So, the story was all about Carl and Ellie's promise to go to Paradise Falls, a place somewhere in South America, [don't ask me where in particular I haven't even boarded an airplane~ =_=] For the first part of the movie, I thought it was ridiculous because the characters, Carl and Ellie, don't really have dialogues.
They were just acting and stuffs and then my Auntie was like, "that was what happened before~ so yeah." I was like, "Ohhhhkayyyy~". But after the cute little wilderness explore boy Ruselle came out, I went kyah. /fail
If you really want to know more about the story, just go to wikipedia or something. haha.
Anyways, I.. actually cried in a certain part of the movie. I know this is embarrassing but who cares?! I think, it was during the part where Carl was looking at this scrapbook Ellie made few years back when the two first met. They were supposedly be finishing that scrapbook when they've finally gone to Paradise Falls but, Ellie died of old age so Carl decided to go there by himself.
What he did not know, was Ellie updated the scrapbook with pictures of them during their Wedding Day, the times when they were fixing and preparing stuffs for their new house, and all the happy moments they had when they were adults already..
I cried maybe because I don't like farewells? And that, I so get mushy in remembering stuffs. I remembered what a close friend of mine said, "We often laugh whenever we remember our cries and cry when we remember our laughs~" or something like that... haha!
But you know, I really don't like being sad and all because I am not used to it. But it's not that I am always happy nor I hide my emotions or sth~ I just don't like being sad and all. When I see someone sad or crying, count one to three and you'll see me crying in an instant.
I remember during Senior year at high school [yay! Uni Hag~ lol] when we had this stage play and our teacher/director told us to think of something sad and cry....
The whole class was amazed by how fast my tears started falling from my eyes, lol. Just right after the teacher told us to meditate [or sth~] she pushed me on the center stage and everybody was looking at me and they couldn't understand why that they started crying too~ XDDDDD
And this was how horrible I looked~Have I already posted these pics? Anyways, there's more but I will most probably be posting some of the pics tomorrow or in my next post~ haha. So, better look forward for it. hahaha.
Anyways, I know I have gone off-topic already.. So where was I? AH~ the movie UP.. I really like it because it taught me a lesson that sometimes we have to give up something we've been holding on for something more worth it. I mean, ignore the improper usage of the supposed exact words, but you know~
The part where Rusell gave up on having that "Assisting the Elderly" badge just to be able to save Kevin, the colorful bird, that was abducted by this certain famous guy, Muntz. Carl too, gave up his house, the furniture, and everything just to be able to save the poor bird.
Though they did not have a good start, they eventually got along together. It was really really heart-warming. The realization there, in that point that there are still some other stuffs that is of higher or greater importance than those we think is the most important thing in our life... it's just something.
But I think giving something up for another thing does not really mean totally forgetting. It's just that, you've detached yourself from something you have been holding on for a while. And that life will still continue even after you detached yourself from that certain something.
Sigh~ it's a Saturday and I know I have to be happy because I'll be doing my laundry and stuffs, but meh. Some things just happen right then and there. Okay, I think I'm feeling better now. ♥
WAIT~ Does this mean I have to
