Honestly, I find it really hard to blog these days.
First, I'm still not over the fact that I couldn't go to Manila and attend Cassiopeia Philippines' 7G (7th gathering).
I bitched about it in my previous post, the one entitled PROJECTS. I seriously really wanna go. Because I know it'll be loads of fun. And even though the main highlight of the event is the Philippine screening of TVXQ's The Secret Code Concert Final in Tokyo Dome, which is download-able over the internet, and that TVXQ is will not be there (they will be there...on the screen) I still think it is a must for me to go. xD
Second, images of what happened sometime in the year 2006 flashed back. This was the year when TVXQ (yes, it's about them again) released their 3rd Korean album, O.Jun.Ban.Hap and when they swept almost all awards for the year 2006.
I swear. Looking back... is not really easy for me. I mean, I'm not talking about TVXQ now but you know, just simple random happenings that happened in the past. Like, something that you couldn't forget because it left an impression in you? I don't know. I don't know.
Lately, because of my lack of activities (I just lay in bed all day long) I'm starting to feel.. weird. And I really don't like it. T.T
Third, because Tohoshinki just celebrated their 5th Anniversary in Japan and I spammed my Twitter account with the hast tags #wesupportTohoshinki and #Tohoshinki ~
I'm sorry for the spam. It's 2AM now. :) And I'm kinda hungry. lol
I will post something more happy and lively next time. C:
And so, the first practice for the Mirotic Flashmob has ended!
Earlier today, around 9:00AM yours truly and 8 others met at Cebu City Sports Complex to officially start practicing the dance steps of TVXQ's Mirotic for the nationwide flashmob here in the Philippines! I'm not so sure if it will really be a nationwide flashmob but we will probably be following what the gang from Manila will be doing.
I swear, if I only knew those fangirls since the last quarter of 2006, life would have been funnier! xD
The meeting was kind of awkward at first. Of course, it will be. We were all strangers to each other. But some of the girls brought their friends who are also fans of TVXQ. So, they didn't really feel awkward. Unlike me. *sad face*
Funny was, I arrived at the practice venue almost an hour late. XD I swear, this is my super ultimate flaw. People call it the "Filipino Time". When we say be there at 9AM, we arrive at 10AM. :D I know it's a bad thing because it kind of gives the person a bad impression, being lazy. I won't deny I'm lazy. XDDDDDD
It's better to be real than act like somebody else who I'm not. XD Anyways, I wasn't the only one who came late. Few others came around 11AM. 8D
So, yeah. The meeting was cute. And hot. I swear, 10AM in the Philippines, especially in the Cebu City Sports Complex is like daytime in a desert.
^snagged from Google.
The part marked in Red was the spot where we practiced. It was a really hot Saturday morning. I checked the weather online and as off 3PM, the temperature is 35 degrees Celsius. Demn hot.
Funny this was, I'm the only 17 year old in the group. The group was divided actually. The very young ones aka dongsaengs (15 and 16 year olds) and the Unnie ones (19 and 20). I'm in the middle!
The introduction part was fun. We said our names and our biases! HAHAHAHA! Most of the girls like Jaejoong, Yoochun and Changmin! Well, they even call Jae "Ba Jeje". xDDDD It's like a pet name of a puppy! *flails* I find it really cute though.XD When it was my turn, I was like, "Hello. My name is Jessica but you all can call me Ikyang or Sica. And I really like JaeChun. *laughs*" Fail I know.
And, out of the 9 fangirls, I'm the only TVXQ fan since the last quarter of 2006. And they we're like, "O Jun Ban Hap?!" I was, "Yeah." Most of them are either a fan since 2007 or 2008. I feel proud of course! HAHAHAA.
We didn't really finish the practice. And if I were to say it boldly, we we're not able to finish what was supposed to be done. It's because some of us arrived really late (almost 11AM), the one who volunteered to bring a laptop didn't come to the venue, the choreographers we're not that sync with their dance steps, the place was not really recommendable for dance practices, and we end up spazzing over Jae's drama Sunanare. XD
But we we're able to practice the chorus part though. And, well, Mirotic has stupid and awesome dance steps so I wasn't really that into it. Maybe because I was still shy around my new TVXQ friends. XD And it was really really hot. But I'm a fast learner, so yeah! We still have a long way to go~ I heard there will still be some who are from other fandoms but are willing to join and support TVXQ for the flashmob, so yay! I was hoping for a TVXQ fanboy though. But no one came. haha. Maybe in the next practices.. ^^
I didn't snap some pics though. But I will probably bring my camera next Saturday.
Okay, That was it!xD
Oh, And I hope Opel will pass her entrance exams so me, her and Zarah will finally be schoolmates in College! YAY! *excited*
You see, some things has changed. And I'd diedo anything just to make it/change it back to what it was as it used to be. But I can't. So I'll just shut my mouth and suck it all up.
Anyways, it's Summer of 2010! Actually it started since the last day of classes. And up until now, nothing has changed in my daily routine. Except for the fact that I no longer have to wake up early for class, wear stupid one-inched shoes for school and the damned skirt I have as a uniform.
I tried to google our new school uniform but it seems no one has uploaded it on the web yet. Well, I saw some of classmates at Facebook who posed for the camera with our new uniform.. but I will not post them here. lol. I took a pic of me wearing the new uniform so I'll prolly post it (the time I remember posting it)
For weeks, I have been lazing around the bedroom mainly because I don't have anything to do. Honestly, I have always wished for these days to come while my first year at college is going on. I mean, there were countless of sleepless nights and I swear, I didn't wanna go back to it. That's why I kind of savored this time. I just.. lay in the bed, think of some random stuff, sleep and then watch TV.
I don't have time to go binge on food nowadays because the parents didn't have moolah. So, I'll just have to count on my energy drink, Energen. There's bread though, but I still prefer our staple food, rice. Damn, I'm hungry now.
Okay, back to the title.
Everyone in the whole Kpop-dom knows what has been happening with my ultimate OT5, DBSK/TVXQ/Tohoshinki and how they have temporarily paused their group activities to concentrate on their solo activities for the betterment of themselves, as an artist.
That's what I'd like to think. Anyways, I don't wanna start commenting on some fans and how they always start stupid rumors. It's okay to express your opinions, but seriously, we don't need your assumptions. That's just plain bullshit.
Honestly, I don't like how things are going right now. Most of us depend on somebody's tweets that are sometimes misleading. Not to mention the many versions of translations. *sigh*
Over the week, aside from spazzing over Jae's, Chun's and Min's new drama, Su's producing his own music(this was what I have been waiting. I will elaborate more on this in the next paragraph, lol), Min and Yun looking GQ (btw, what's GQ? I just copied what I read at omonatheydidn't lol) I finally finished watching Jae's Heaven's Postman. ^^
About Su producing his own music, I was kind of looking forward to this. First, I was just thinking too much about the boys and the way they dress in airports. So I'm like, "I'm not gonna be shocked if they make their own clothing line". And then the whole Lawsuit Thing came and I went "After all the shizz, I hope they'd still be together making their own music, composing, arranging, producing it, recording it, and all those stuffs." True enough, Su started making his own music. It's just sad because he had to go through a lawsuit to be able to fulfill it. I don't know if he was really hoping for this moment to come since then. But I do believe, Junsu loves and enjoys what's he's doing now.
That's why I'll be participating to SYC's project! CLICKIE!
I will try my best to start making my entry tomorrow. Or after I slept the minimum 8 hours for an underage like me. Jeez, it's 3:00 AM now.
Also, because I'm such a popularity seeker in the closet (lol) I'm also gonna participate on the upcoming flashmob by Cassiopeia Philippines gang. Since the Philippines is an archipelago, hence the thousands of islands, we somewhat decided to have a nationwide flashmob instead for those who cannot go to the capital city, Metro Manila, for the practices.
The fans from Luzon have started their practices since first week of April. Me and a couple of others from Cebu (the capital of the Visayas region) are still planning on the details. But the supposed first practice will be this Saturday, April 24th. I haven't familiarized myself to the dance steps of Mirotic so this is the reason why I'm embedding this vid:
Apparently, I have an appointment on that date. Maria Ofelia H. Ermodo asked if I could accompany her in her Entrance Exam in my school. We're so close like that we want to go to the same college! If she passed the exam (I am very confident she will) Opel's gonna take up the degree program Bachelor of Arts Major in Psychology. She really wants to be doctor or a surgeon. I know she should take the one that's connected with the Sciences since she wanted to be a doctor. But I told her, it would be better (to just take the B.A. program) for it will be like her stepping stone in the doctor industry. ^^
If things will push through, I'll try to pull some strings and see what I can do to attend the first practice. Though I'm hoping it will be moved since we're still in the negotiating stage for the practice venue and stuffs. Also, some of my fellow TVXQ fans are taking Summer Classes. XD
Another project is this:
click to enlarge
From the group that spearheaded the First Kpop Convention in the world, Cassiopeia Philippines, comes another first in fan-organized events of epic proportions: 7G Always Keep The Faith, TSC ~Final in Tokyo Dome~ Screening!
YEASSSSSSSSSH! I swear, I wanted to go. SO. BADLY.
WHY?
Because of the STANDEES! *cries* I want a full size DBSK member in my room! *cries more*
Okay. Enough said.
WAIT! There's more! ASADAFDSFSDDFHFHFJF!
In celebration of their latest achievement, Universal Records and Cass PH now present the Exclusive Album Launch of Tohoshinki's latest and best-selling album, Best Selection 2010, on 7G: AKTF!
Make sure to get an advanced copy to receive limited edition collectibles and official merchandise!
BS 2010 Silver+Black Bundle: Free large poster + Free collectible card inside + Get all 6 collectible cards for PHP1100!! The Silver+Black Bundle is the ultimate giveaway that lets you collect ALL 6 versions of the limited edition collectible card! Be a true Cassiopeia! Buy their music!
Although it will only be bought on the 7G on May 1st. BUT I must not worry. In case I couldn't go (I still have to wait for my Auntie's confirmation if she'll gonna finance my round-trip airplane ticket from Cebu to Manila and vice-versa + accommodation expenses) I can still purchase the BS 2010 Silver+Black Bundle by pre-order!
OMGSUN! AMAZING news, faraway Cassies! Due to the overwhelming response to the exclusive release of BS2010 on 7G, Cass PH would like to extend our help to the Cassies living in faraway provinces who can't attend 7G but would like to avail of this one-day promo! Another first from Cass PH! :)
Supposedly, the BS 2010 Silver and Black Bundle is sold for Php1100.00 which is approximately 25 USD! But since I live in a faraway place, lol, I still have to pay for the shipping fees from Manila to Cebu. I only need Php1250! or 28USD!
Now, how can I produce such amount in a matter of a week? EH? I don't have work. I don't even classes nor Summer Classes aka allowance to save. I don't even have a Summer Job. I'm only depending on Mom's daily ration. T_____T
My only hope now is to place a bet on Lotto Sweepstakes. LOL.
As you know by now, I have changed my blog URL. Why, you ask?
1. My parents are stalking me. Step-dad's phone has this thing called browser where one could browse sites on the Internet. (they just learned how to manipulate the mobile phone) I remembered I used it once. And was so careless for not deleting the history so maybe that's the reason why they kind of learned about my blog. Thus, the stalking.
2. They have been asking me what "dramatic bastard" is. I was eating salted peanuts when Mom out of nowhere asked that question. I swear. It's the second time she asked me that. The first time, well she didn't really asked. She more of like, stated it. I was busy doing something on the computer when she came down from upstairs and was like, "You know what? We just read your blog." I was all "OHMYGAHSHITNOOOOOOOO" and run as fast as I could and grabbed step-dad's phone from his grasp. Good thing was he willingly handed to me his phone. I immediately looked for the delete history button.
3. I am scared shitless. I swear I have never been this scared my WHOLE life. Sure I'm scared of the dark. I'm kinda scared of tiny crawling creatures (some of them) but finding your parents reading your blog out is just really scary. I don't like it.
4. I feel guilty even though I am not. I have been very vocal of my inner thoughts in my blogs. My blogs are like, my solace. I am at peace whenever I update any of them. And I admit I once dissed my parents in one of my blogs. You know, how a teenager gets fed up of some little things in her environment and stuff? Yes, that kind of thing. I'm alone but that doesn't give me the right to diss my parents, I know. But sometimes, one needs to express the pent-up emotions he/she has been keeping. That's why there's this thing called blog.
5. I don't like my parents reading my blog posts. It's like reading my diary. Yes. No more explanations. I understand some people are reading this right now, but it's okay. I also read your posts. So it's a win-win situation. No worries. But my parents? NO EFFING WAY.
So, there. I hope I made it clear.
I was just informed, by none other than Mom, that they also read(past tense) some of my posts on Facebook.
Am I regretting anything now? Hmmm.. no none really. It's just that, I was just not prepared for the worst. They probably wouldn't understand. But I'm not closing the possibilities. They may or may not understand. But jeez, the mere fact they were able to browse my blog "accidentally" is already an indication my parents couldn't fooled.
Oh life. I never wanted this to happen. Honestly, I never imagined this day to come. Nor have I thought about this. Not that I'm so screwed right now. Well, not anymore since I already changed my other blog's URL so I'm kind of at ease now compared to few hours ago. You see, I now know why some people set their profiles and blogs to private.
Anyways, hahaha. On an early Saturday morning of April 10th (the same day the Super Junior crew wowed Filipino ELFs at Araneta Coliseum during the last stop of their Super Show 2 in which I failed to attend due to the lack of moolah~) Mom and I joined a fun covenant run for the holding of honest, orderly, and peaceful elections (HOPE) on May 10 called Run for Hope or Hope Run 2010.
from Fuente Osmeña Circle to Archbishop Palace. (the one in A with a red balloon thingy) Almost 5K run. Just ran out of breaTH. xD
Here's a picture of me, lol. ^took this from Mom's crappy blackberry. I looked so wasted. :X
HOPE RUN 2010. Mom said it'll only be a walk for a cause. It turned out it was a covenant run. hahahaha. Thank God I wore shorts and doll shoes. Kinda blended with eveybody else. Mom was so funny, she was wearing jeans and sandals. xD TIRED, HUNGRY, HEADACHE. BUT FUN! =)
So, in case I let this blog of mine rot and die (hopefully not), why don't you just check on me from time to time (or whenever you can. I only have a handful of stalkers, so yeah) on these sites:
Fueled by their schoolgirl hormones, the hopelessly romantic Ajummas, Judy (Thea Matsuda), the lovable and innocent heroine, Susan (Tessie Magaoay) the gruff-tough one, and Amy (Cari Mizumoto) the sassy tart, go on a hilarious journey to try and meet Korean super star Michael Park (Michael Hsia) by stealing his itinerary, breaking into his hotel room, and sneaking on to his music video set.
Recorded this vid during our trip to Iligan City for the Holy Week. It features my step-dad's brother's house where we stayed at and Mom laying in the wooden sofa. And yes, that was me singing. xD Random vids of me dancing will come out soon. lol~ no pics for now. I have to look for my memory card reader to be able to post the pics. i somewhat lost the USB cord whatchamacallit for my camera~ T.T
Approximately 5 days ago, I was away from the city life. The trip to step-dad's family's house was super fun. I had the chance to play with the farm animals; pigs, cows, carabaos, chickens and the goats. I swear, it was one helluva fun. I couldn't describe in words. Don't worry, I'll just describe it through the pictures I took. But I won't be uploading them all until tomorrow. I still have to do some serious stuffs and some sh1t~ *sigh
^ a screen cap of my status in Facebook last March 31st
I just changed my profile pic it used to be this: ^ for a school project. XD
I had to change my profile to support the other TVXQ fans, CassPH-as we call ourselves(of course, I'm part of it. xD) in there little way of showing how they-we-all love the boys and that although they have paused their activities as a group, we still support all 5 of them equally and that we are keeping the faith.
I wasn't able to make a post about it. Mom called to inform me we will be (You won't believe how excited I was for the trip!) I mean, it's been almost 9 years since the last time we went there. And, it's been ages since I boarded a ship. Yes, ship. We didn't board a plane though, to my disappointment. But the whole trip was still cool.
The night before the 31st, I was planning on posting a blog about the Commencement Exercises I have witnessed and attended to. If I remember correctly, I attended almost 5 events about graduating students. Two were a Recognition Day where student achievers are recognized and stuffs, with the ever so famous BEST IN *insert word here* ribbons pinned to their clothes. Up to this day, I snicker every time I try to look back during my Elementary days. Not that I feel so old, okay? But you know, I have always received the most unbelievable awards like, The Most Neat and Clean student during my 2nd grade. That was some 8 years ago and I was only ten years old back then. And I was never the tidy one. I'm far from covering half of what I'm supposed to write about yet I'm already off from the topic. hahaha
To be honest, I was kinda nervous because last year, probably around the last quarter of 2009, news of ships sinking with an unbelievable number of deaths were reported here in the Philippines. Now I'm not gonna start with how I have, almost always, connect everyunbelievable phenomenon to the movie 2012.
I don't know why or what's up with me these days but really, I was feeling more melancholic a week before the trip we had during the Holy Week. I mean, I don't know. There are just times in a person's life when you just couldn't get what's going on and you just stay there on a corner, wondering. There was even a time (well not now anymore because it's becoming frequent) when I started talking to myself in front of the mirror and just ask questions which couldn't be answered.
Sometimes, I hate whatever it is that I see whenever I stand in front of the mirror.
*looks around*
Okay, so my title says Transitions.
Why? I don't know. Don't ask me.
I was randomly watching DBSK vids, and I came across this vid here:
andddddddddddd although it didn't have English subs (I'm too lazy to find one) I saw this part around 3:15
I'd like to believe that the guys behind Junsu are Yoochun, Changmin and Jaejoong, in that order. Or maybe the guy in the middle is Yunho, the one encircled in yellow.
You can go and watch the vid.
Uhm, the vid might not be that recent but I just want to say this once and for all here.
I wasn't really that shocked by the news of their sudden pause of activities as a group. In fact, I was secretly looking forward for it. Maybe because I know it will be hard for me, so yeah. As what I have said in a post, I have slowly detached myself from them even if it will be hard. But the solo activities is better than nothing. Just like other fans, I'd take their solo activities as a stepping stone to their being a versatile artist. I admit some of them are not that good at acting. Look at Yunho, but that doesn't make me hate him or love him less, heck no. There's always a room for improvement. ^^
I'm saying, even if I'm a fan, I'm not eating everything the boys will give me. Just like Jae's Anan photoshoot. XD I am not that satisfied, lol. It just sounded as if it's food. XD but you know, I wasn't one of those few who wailed because he's posing for Anan. I was thrilled to be exact and now that he cover is out.... meh. But hey, his sex hair is love. so. hahahaahahah.
You see, I have changed. Or so I thought. XD
I've become more understanding on some matters and I no longer jump into conclusions nor blow some things out of proportions, as what I always do. XD
It's just that... I am not ready. After all, those 3 years of fun and crack and lessons learned was unforgettable. I won't treat them as my boyfriends though. HAHAHAH. But more like an older brother. My life was a bore to be really honest. I once asked myself, what would it be like if I hadn't know DBSK? Had it made any difference? Will it still matter? I dunno.
but if someone was to tell me my boys have disbanded and that I'm clinging to a ghost, I'd so punch them. In the face. A pause in group activities is so different from disbandment.
Right now, because I am not really in a stable state (don't worry I am not suicidal) I just don't know how to react. I know I shouldn't be letting these stupid emotions overtake my mind. I'm still sane, I guess. Sigh. This is why I've always wanted to be a boy. Because boys are.. stronger? But mom disagrees and tells me that girls are stronger. Men often do commit suicide when things get f*cked up so that makes us girls stronger. Ohhhhkay. But unlike guys, we girls tend to get attracted so easily. Maybe its because of the estrogen rush. hahahahaha. No seriously.
There is something in us that's fragile. I can't explain it.
^these are my tweets. XD
The moment I came home from the trip, I didn't go online immediately. And the withdrawal was fun though. hahaha. Made me realize there's more to life behind the small box of electric wires, microchips and the flashing screens. I saw an Internet Cafe near the house we stayed at but it was closed because it was the Holy Week and people are supposed to rest and contemplate on stuffs.
I was able to do so. Mom and I were laying in the bed the whole time. I wanted to mingle with my cousins but I just couldn't get rid of the awkward feeling. I feel bad for myself because whenever the situation gets awkward, I just go silent and will never talk until I think it's not awkward anymore. hahaha. I heard the crickets.
During those lazy days, I realized, I'm still young and that I still have lots of things to learn. Just had to work some things out and then BAM! I'm back with my usual me. Maybe the whole i'm-emotional-right-now-don't-mess-with-me phase will wear off. I needs to wear my heart in my sleeve. I think the trip has made me a more better person. If not the worse. =)
